So I joined a group of English speaking mothers who meet twice a week with babies ranging from 3 months to 15 months. Since there were no hosts this week, I said I would go for it. Apparently, at every meeting there are about 8 different mothers. I had only 2 since it is holidays here..and let me tell you 2 was enough!!!
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| This is the room after people left. The picture does not look that bad but it was bad! |
I wanted to be that mother who can quietly have a tea with her friends while her baby plays by himself on the floor content and happy. But I became this mother who is frantic and has to interrupt all conversation that starts because her baby is needy and always wants to be the focus of attention. How did this happen? When did this happen? What did I do wrong?
Sevan, Sevan... he was just doing his thing. Try again and see!
ReplyDeleteI feel you about the birthday thing. Since we live far from people, we are just having a bbq and inviting the grandparents and our siblings. It's an excuse to have people over really. We'll see who shall make the trek from Boston.
I want to have playdates! But I don't know anyone either. I have started taking her to storytime at the library. She touches all the kids. And eats the dirty, SARS-covered toys. But no one else's kids do that. Although the other kids aren't exactly behaving like angels either. That makes it easier. :)
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ReplyDeleteDude, when they don't sleep, all shit breaks loose. But, don't think about how it went wrong. Think about all the opportunities that will come to do it right! I just told a mother today when she was talking about her son not staying awake enough to feed, "now imagine he's 13. And he's too lazy to do something that you think he needs to do because it's good for him. Will you let him get out of it then? No? Well, start making those habits now." It always gets a good laugh, while at the same time, getting the point across. I know for our kids, life is easier if there's other kids to play with - they much rather have their attention than mine. That said, having 2 actually made it all easier (they like each other more than they like me, and that is very liberating in a way!). And I agree with Kate - just keep doing it. He will get the hang of it. Im the most chaotic person - never really liked a schedule - but the kids have taught me that they need schedules... patterns of play. And I'm FAR too lazy to do all the play myself ;). So playdates/organized outtings/discovery museum/parks/libraries... have always been a cornerstone of how I cope!
ReplyDeleteDId I tell you, Eli - he's a drama queen - loves to just whine (Isa didn't). It drives me nuts. 2 weeks ago, I'd had enough, put him in his high chair, rolled it into his room, and closed the door. He stopped. And he ate. It made me realize 1) he does it just for show, 2) there's nothing actually wrong, and 3) I HAVE to stop rewarding that behavior (although the impulse to do ANYTHING to quiet him down is overwhelming) and 4) rewarding that behaviour hurts Isa (I once, at least once, that I noticed, took a toy away from her to give to him to quiet him down which afterwards she went quietly to her room in tears - because she's not a whiner) - talk about feeling like an ass of a mom. Anyhow, I know your struggle. Our drama boys and their call for attention... and the strength it takes to teach them balance, when I myself feel utterly exhausted and unbalanced...