First, our period of adaptation for the daycare has officially begun this week, which means I left Sevan to the crèche for 2 hours for 3 days. It's a bio crèche, it is the best we could have found, I trust all the caregivers there etc.
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| All dressed up for the school :) |
But on the way back, he refused to look at me or talk to me. When I was calling his name, he was literally turning his head on the other side. I kept saying to myself, oh no, he must be tired, it's not personal...But on our way back home, he greeted my friend who was waiting for us with a huge smile. It was clear, he was doing this to me.
And you can imagine how I felt afterwards. Like I left him to strangers on purpose and he was very aware of it and it upset him. I spent the night thinking of alternative plans, can we afford to hire someone who can keep him in the house? can I keep him myself, while I'm doing job applications, writing papers and proposals? I couldn't find a better solution.
I keep on telling myself that it will be good for us. We haven't been apart for more than 2 hours ever since he was born. It's beautiful...but it's getting very very challenging for me and I'm really not sure how healthy it is for him. Our first separation for more than 2 hours will be this week. He'll be at the daycare on Tuesday from 9:00 to 14:00. I scheduled a lot of meetings for that day. I won't be in Brussels.
Oh my goodness, what a freaking adorable picture of him! SOOO cute.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. I gotta say, having a nanny works for us but she's less expensive that high quality center based care. And, she comes to us from a center based background so it's the best of both worlds for me. The BEST part, is that when I'm home, doing my thing in the bedroom with the door closed of our smallish apartment, I can still hear Nina, so i have a sense of how she is doing. And when the end of the day rolls around, I just open the bedroom door and scoop her up for cuddles. No commute. I don't know what I'll do when/if I get a non-telecommuting job in like, 1 month, yeesh. I have fear!!
Wait, so having a nanny is cheaper??? it doesn't work that way here. But yes, I keep on thinking that what you have is the BEST. All mothers should have the right to work from home and the state should pay for our nannies!!!
DeleteOh no, a nanny is typically not cheaper - its usually way more, but I am working it out.
ReplyDeleteIsa is a master of guilt too! she literally pretended NOT to know Kim after she'd lived with us for 8 months then moved out. We saw her a week later and Isa completely ignored her for the first whole day! Kim was devastated, eventually Isa gave in. It WILL get better, and then it will get liberating. Kids need their peers, and what I've learned about myself over the years is that as much as I ADORE my children, they need - and thrive - with peers, and that I personally, do not thrive staying home full time, and that the amazing women I have found to care for them have more patience, and often have more ideas of ways to sooth and teach them... so it is a win win with the right environment and balance...
ReplyDeleteOh my god!Poor Kim. She must have felt terrible. Isn't it unbelievable what they can do and how aware they are of everything despite their little age?
DeleteRe: work, I'm like you, I do not thrive staying home full time (suprise surprise). I'm so glad you found great caregivers you can trust for your bébés. Yes, I think right now, our struggle is to find the right work-home-crèche balance that works perfectly for all of us.