One day my husband and I were assigning colors to people we knew (OK, it's a weird sentence but bear with me). A common friend was red, because he was full of passion, another orange, because he was full of life...And I started thinking what my color was...I knew I was red at some point, and then gray maybe....but after my son's birth, I felt like I didn't have a color... Everyday I was just doing things I had to do and there was no room for me to express myself...I said to my husband "I don't have a color, I'm just a shadow now".
but more like this:
or this:
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| from colourbox.com |
But maybe all I need is the perfect summer tote from Coach in order to turn from shadow into glow, maybe one day that perfect tote will magically appear in my living room, do the dishes and the laundry, clean my apartment, prepare food for everybody, bath, change and put my baby to sleep, dye my hair, massage me, and go ahead and do my nails....And then I will glow!!!
Yes, maybe one day...
First, I want to know what color I am. Although I think the answer is OBVIOUS. I am RAINBOW, or at the very least, purple with gold undertones. Second, self-care, my love! Perhaps you could benefit from some Neda time, not alone time when you can take the opportunity to stress about career moves or parenting choices, or even marriage/relationship talk, just PURE Neda time. To do NOTHING.
ReplyDeleteI think you are purple but with silver undertones...Don't know why :)
DeleteYes, self-care is en route...It started with the henna, now, have an appt from a fancy hair-dresser (groupon!), doing yoga with 60 year-old ladies and loving it, and resolved not to wear clothes that have stain on them :) Not bad huh?
Okay, I had to go back to this website: "The Glow is a glimpse into the world of inspiring and fashionable moms. Here you’ll find their styling ideas, go-to gear, multitasking secrets, and enviable decor."
ReplyDeleteSooooo... it's rich New Yorkers. Okay, maybe some of them are from LA. Dude, if you had a nanny, personal trainer, regular spa appointments, you would glow too.
that's exactly what I was thinking. I think they not only have a nanny but another person, if not 2, who does the house chores...they don't strike me as women who deal with regular poop stain...
ReplyDeleteWhat you said stirred something deep inside me... I had forgotten how I had felt EXACTLY this way when Isa was about 3 months till almost till she was a year old. I felt like a semblance of myself. That my true being was somewhere in the ether. I wasn't sure who I was anymore, who I was as a mother, who I was as a medical student, who I was as an oldest sister... a friend... Back then, I remember saying this to a very old friend who said, "from my vantage, you're the same you've always been" and I argued with her. Now 2 years later... I'm the same I've always been. I don't even see the pee stains, but then again, I never saw the unshaven legs I had before I had babies. I would say I was a mix of red/orange/yellow before, and still am. Now and then a warm blue comes in, I'd like to think my children expanded my colors as they expanded my perspectives. But I remember being shadow, being a question, being a guestimate of myself. And my shadow reaches out to your shadow to say, you are still who you always were plus more, and it falls together, it will only get more amazing. Yes there will always be stains, and crumbs, and frustrations... but oh the growth and snuggling and self-realization is all worth it (I hope).
ReplyDeleteOh May...I cannot thank you enough for sharing this with me...It's great to know that I am not alone (or weird) to feel this way...When I look at all these mothers who look so on top of things and I look at myself...and the difference...don't know...maybe it's all an illusion...maybe everyone feels this overwhelmed with their first but hide it really well...But I know that I'm here, I exist, and so are my colors...I just have to actively work on remembering this,the good news is that it's getting better over time...
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, you are definitely orange and pure gold ;)
Well, well, well, I'm back!!! I had not realised the blog was still on, I'm so glad to get some insights :)
ReplyDeleteAnd, of course, I want to know what colour I am too!!
My tailor here makes pretty dresses with african fabric, do you want one ? I'd be happy to nike it back to you :)
bisous, Neda. And yes, pure Neda time, I agree!
bike one to you!
DeleteYayy!Welcome back miss Em!We were just thinking about you two the other day and wondering when you would be back!!
DeleteYou have a tailor?? I admire how you can still manage to be fabulous while being evacuated in Congo!!
:) Yes, if you have space, I wouldn't mind a nice African dress.
By the way, this whole biking to South Africa thing is blowing my mind.
You are RED!!
Oh, and by the way, no reason to envy the posh Manhattan ladies from that glowing website, when i saw that first photo, I wondered "who is this grown up boy on the couch with Neda". I swear, that woman IS you!
DeleteEm, you made me laugh out loud with your comment!!!So sweet of you to say that!Yes, that is me, I am fabulous...I don't need fancy bags ;)
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